I see you put on your strength
as you walk down the hall
you pull on your armor
gauntlet and all.
We wait for you at the nurses’ station
clutching brown bags
of clean underwear
and purple eyeshadow
just enough to get you through another week.
You look so calm and so together
in your thorazine sweater
handing out hugs and smiles
left and right
thick and fast.
We have no time to get suspicious.
You throw up a lipgloss smoke screen
and lay down machine gun chatter.
It’s sleight of hand.
It’s marines on command.
And we are taken by surprise
we are all mesmerized.
Because you seem just fine
you seem yourself.
In fact, you’re the very picture
of rehabilitated health.
So we ask all the wrong questions
and you give all the right answers.
This is what everyone wants anyway.
Polite conversation.
Diversionary tactics.
Pretty stories with witty punchlines.
Visiting hours are over at four o’clock
and then the doors lock.
So we all fall in line
we laugh with the track.
You’ve captured your audience
occupied your territory
you’ve palmed everyone
except for me.
Yes darling, I can see you.
Oh I can see right through you.
But you needn’t worry
don’t hold your breath.
I didn’t bring any horses
and I will not call the cavalry.
There are no medics tucked away
in my coat pockets. I’m not here
to rescue you.
So you can lay down your arms.
You can stop the charade.
Let’s just be two girls together
on a Sunday afternoon.
Just two dark girls together
that’s all I’ll ever ask of you.
01.05 | The Secrets of Falling